Im done.

Im done thinking about myself all the time

Im done thinking about the what ifs.

Im done second guessing.

Im done trying to make EVERYONE ELSE happy.

Im done ignoring my dreams.

Im done with being mean, hurtful, and rude.

Im done crying.

Im done with being fake.

and Im done fighting off feelings for him. Let them come. I'm more than ready.

Now, I'm going to be a good friend, a best friend,  a good person, I am going back to the girl I was 2 years ago, only this time I am stronger and I have AMAZING new friends I would lay my life down for. 

Im done living in the past.

Im done and Im glad.

Jeremiah 29:11

Does it ever stop??

I cant go a day without him calling or texting, so today I give in and call. He has lost 15 pounds, hasn't been sleeping, or doing things he loves to do. Awesome. Just when I was starting to heal, he comes back and rips me back open again. I don't understand. I don't get it. I just want to be happy... but apparently thats to much to ask. I'm glad I had someone there holding my hand while I was on the phone with him. It's good to have someone to wipe your tears, even when its hard for them to hear the conversation themselves. Why are things so complicated? Why am I a magnet for drama? I wish things could just be simple, and easy, I wish everyone could get along. UGH! I just want to scream! I hate being the center of this tangle web of mess. Its stupid. I love him, but I don't want to be with him. I like the other guy, but being with him causes to much drama. Happiness anyone? If you find some pass it my way...

Nashville tomorrow to meet my sisters new "love of her life" going with Jami, it should be a blast.

Spring break needs to hurry up..because with it comes my birthday. I pray to God NO DRAMA.

when life hands you lemons make lemonade!

So courtney is amazing and made me one of these things because her and amber have been wanted me to get one for so long. So here it is, bear with me im new at this.

God has blessed me with some AMAZING friends, i literally could not ask to be surrounded by better people. For the first time since I have been in college I am completely happy with my life. I am finally letting God use and mold me in the ways he wants to and it is making my life soooooooooo much better. Last semester I wanted to go home every weekend, and now I am living here this summer with 4 of the best people on the planet! I couldn't ask for more! God is also teaching me how to forgive, which is something I have never been good at. But today, forgiveness came so easily, I finally realized that we all make mistakes, but we also all learn from them. I think he learned his lesson, or I hope. The past three weeks have been so emotionally exhausting for me, and finally I got some well needed sleep and God answered so many prayers. It's like a huge burden has been lifted from me. I hope that everyone can forgive. 

The shows are over, which is bitter sweet, because now I wont be on stage...for a very long time, since I'm not in scrooge. But it also means the rest of this semester will be full of free time for fun! I cannot wait for spring break! YIPEEE!!!!! The shows were a defiant success and the cast and directors did a fantastic job! it was a lot of fun! But now its bed time, or cleaning time, or something. More to come later!

this is courtney
i made this for ashley
because she needed one